Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

Posts tagged wolverine

619 notes

[Submitted by: Jacqui
Ms. Darcy Lewis will refrain from asking Wolverine if ALL of his bones were enhanced with adamantium. Any further questions about whether or not his bones are the hardest on Earth will result in her attending a sexual harassment seminar.]

[Submitted by: Jacqui

Ms. Darcy Lewis will refrain from asking Wolverine if ALL of his bones were enhanced with adamantium. Any further questions about whether or not his bones are the hardest on Earth will result in her attending a sexual harassment seminar.]

Filed under darcy wolverine nick fury submission

1,061 notes

[Submitted by: hartthorn
The drinking contest between Mr. Logan and Thor has been cancelled. Agent Barton will be returning all of your bets. Mr. Stark will be billed for all expenses. And Dr. Banner can spend the next week re-purposing the 200 gallons of 400 proof whiskey into an alternate fuel for the Quinjets. If there are two people I don’t want drunk on my boat it’s the God of Thunder and a very irritable lightning rod.]

[Submitted by: hartthorn

The drinking contest between Mr. Logan and Thor has been cancelled. Agent Barton will be returning all of your bets. Mr. Stark will be billed for all expenses. And Dr. Banner can spend the next week re-purposing the 200 gallons of 400 proof whiskey into an alternate fuel for the Quinjets. If there are two people I don’t want drunk on my boat it’s the God of Thunder and a very irritable lightning rod.]

Filed under wolverine thor hawkeye iron man the hulk Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission

384 notes

[Submitted by: foxwiththeredfeathers

Mr. Stark and Mr. Logan would like to impress upon all S.H.I.E.L.D. employees, consultants, and guests the necessity to please immediately report it if there is ever a shortage in the liquor cabinet.
Also, Director Nick Fury would like to impress upon you all that the fire alarm should not be used to communicate the shortage of alcohol, and the next person to do so will be thrown off the aircraft immediately.]

[Submitted by: foxwiththeredfeathers

Mr. Stark and Mr. Logan would like to impress upon all S.H.I.E.L.D. employees, consultants, and guests the necessity to please immediately report it if there is ever a shortage in the liquor cabinet.

Also, Director Nick Fury would like to impress upon you all that the fire alarm should not be used to communicate the shortage of alcohol, and the next person to do so will be thrown off the aircraft immediately.]

Filed under wolverine iron man Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission

191 notes

[Submitted by: wraithstrike
Use of the phrase “With Attitude” went out of style in the 90’s. Thus, consultants/employees of S.H.I.E.L.D. are no longer to refer to any hero currently in operation with this suffix.
For Example: The Nova Corps are Space Cops, not Space Cops “With Attitude.” Wolverine is a surly canadian, which makes the Attitude suffix redundant.
For further information: Any SHIELD agent caught using the “In My Pants” line from Scrubs will have to join Captain Rogers in the sexual harassment seminar.
That is all.]

[Submitted by: wraithstrike

Use of the phrase “With Attitude” went out of style in the 90’s. Thus, consultants/employees of S.H.I.E.L.D. are no longer to refer to any hero currently in operation with this suffix.

For Example: The Nova Corps are Space Cops, not Space Cops “With Attitude.” Wolverine is a surly canadian, which makes the Attitude suffix redundant.

For further information: Any SHIELD agent caught using the “In My Pants” line from Scrubs will have to join Captain Rogers in the sexual harassment seminar.

That is all.]

Filed under nova corps scrubs wolverine captain america Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission

137 notes

[Submitted by: heystevejoe
The birthday party for Dr. Banner is being moved to the Olive Garden, as the funds for the S.H.I.E.L.D. Recreation Wing are once again being diverted, this time to replace the touch screen access points in the main lobby. This is also a reminder to any S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives and their guests to retract any adamantium claws that they might have before handling sensitive equipment or any part of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters that looks expensive.]

[Submitted by: heystevejoe

The birthday party for Dr. Banner is being moved to the Olive Garden, as the funds for the S.H.I.E.L.D. Recreation Wing are once again being diverted, this time to replace the touch screen access points in the main lobby. This is also a reminder to any S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives and their guests to retract any adamantium claws that they might have before handling sensitive equipment or any part of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters that looks expensive.]

Filed under the hulk wolverine nick fury S.H.I.E.L.D. shield The Avengers Avengers marvel memosfromfury submission