Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

Posts tagged thor

90 notes

nimbusllewelyn asked: Director Fury, the press have got hold of a tape of Thor doing the YMCA dance in his boxers. They say that they will return it in exchange for an interview with you. Shall I authorise Agent Romanov to retrieve the tape by any means necessary?

Is there any proof that Thor is necessarily embarrassed by this? In my experience, he doesn’t experience pride in quite the same way as the rest of us, and his popularity with elementary-school-aged girls is currently his biggest publicity asset to the team.

I feel that anything that keeps an actual god safe and approachable in the public eye is worth permitting, especially after everything his brother got up to. 

Filed under memosfromfury thor nimbusllewelyn

105 notes

Brotherly bonding notwithstanding, it is not in the best interests of the Division to have Captain America run up the flag pole to celebrate the U.S. Flag Day or Independence Day holidays.
Thor and Loki are hereby assigned to clean up after Dr. Banner’s most recent Hulk rampage. I expect to find everything repaired, in good order, and clean no later than 2200 hours today. Captain Rogers will be by to perform a white glove inspection at that time.

Brotherly bonding notwithstanding, it is not in the best interests of the Division to have Captain America run up the flag pole to celebrate the U.S. Flag Day or Independence Day holidays.

Thor and Loki are hereby assigned to clean up after Dr. Banner’s most recent Hulk rampage. I expect to find everything repaired, in good order, and clean no later than 2200 hours today. Captain Rogers will be by to perform a white glove inspection at that time.

Filed under memosfromfury submission avengers thor loki

181 notes

[Submitted by: CathrineRose
All agents are reminded that, while SHIELD is not the army, any action/item/activity inspired by “Skippy’s List” should be considered forbidden.
This means that you are not to:
Consider it a “bucket list”, “to do list,” or any other form of plan.
Inform Thor or Captain America that it is a list of tasks to be completed to join any club, society, “brotherhood of warriors” or any other organization.
Inform recruits that it must be completed to join SHIELD.
Suggest to other agencies that any item is encouraged in SHIELD.]

[Submitted by: CathrineRose

All agents are reminded that, while SHIELD is not the army, any action/item/activity inspired by “Skippy’s List” should be considered forbidden.

This means that you are not to:

  • Consider it a “bucket list”, “to do list,” or any other form of plan.
  • Inform Thor or Captain America that it is a list of tasks to be completed to join any club, society, “brotherhood of warriors” or any other organization.
  • Inform recruits that it must be completed to join SHIELD.
  • Suggest to other agencies that any item is encouraged in SHIELD.]

Filed under nick fury submission thor captain america

484 notes

[Submitted by: Firestorm17 
All employees are to refrain from encouraging Loki to shift into non-humanoid forms.
Any shape that can be described as “tentacled,” “squamous,” “rugose,” and/or “eldritch” should be particularly discouraged.
On a related note, the biology department would like to meet with Thor in order to clarify the nature of several Asgardian lifeforms, particularly the one referred to as a “goat,” as there seems to have been at least one misunderstanding.]

[Submitted by: Firestorm17 

All employees are to refrain from encouraging Loki to shift into non-humanoid forms.

Any shape that can be described as “tentacled,” “squamous,” “rugose,” and/or “eldritch” should be particularly discouraged.

On a related note, the biology department would like to meet with Thor in order to clarify the nature of several Asgardian lifeforms, particularly the one referred to as a “goat,” as there seems to have been at least one misunderstanding.]

Filed under loki lovecraft nick fury thor submission halloween

745 notes

[Submitted by: comics0026
In addition to Talk Like a Pirate Day, the following holidays are NOT celebrated by S.H.I.E.L.D.:
Talk Like an Asgardian Day
Deadpool Appreciation Day
Hawaiian Pants Day
Thor-toberfest
Christmas in Stark’s Pants
Mixed Drinks Mondays
No celebration of these holidays while on duty or on S.H.I.E.L.D. property will be tolerated.]

[Submitted by: comics0026

In addition to Talk Like a Pirate Day, the following holidays are NOT celebrated by S.H.I.E.L.D.:

  • Talk Like an Asgardian Day
  • Deadpool Appreciation Day
  • Hawaiian Pants Day
  • Thor-toberfest
  • Christmas in Stark’s Pants
  • Mixed Drinks Mondays

No celebration of these holidays while on duty or on S.H.I.E.L.D. property will be tolerated.]

Filed under deadpool thor iron man nick fury submission

419 notes

[Submitted by: madmaudlingoes
All S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel are reminded that Capt. Rogers and Thor Odinson have received extensive training in personal computing skills, including all the software in use on agency-owned machines and Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing. They do not need your help to complete any of our electronic forms, no matter what vague or unsettling comments they may make about “tubes,” “runes,” “speaking lights,” “radio-vision,” “Internets,” or “cup holders.” Please do not aid or abet them.]

[Submitted by: madmaudlingoes

All S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel are reminded that Capt. Rogers and Thor Odinson have received extensive training in personal computing skills, including all the software in use on agency-owned machines and Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing. They do not need your help to complete any of our electronic forms, no matter what vague or unsettling comments they may make about “tubes,” “runes,” “speaking lights,” “radio-vision,” “Internets,” or “cup holders.” Please do not aid or abet them.]

Filed under captain america thor nick fury submission

305 notes

[Submitted by: sarisarahe
All agents are reminded that while offsite meals may on be expensed as work-related if proper documentation is provided, excursions to all-you-can-eat buffets involving Captain Rogers and Thor do not fall into that category.
Mr. Stark and Agent Barton are advised to cease submitting requests to that effect, as I have seen the YouTube video.]

[Submitted by: sarisarahe

All agents are reminded that while offsite meals may on be expensed as work-related if proper documentation is provided, excursions to all-you-can-eat buffets involving Captain Rogers and Thor do not fall into that category.

Mr. Stark and Agent Barton are advised to cease submitting requests to that effect, as I have seen the YouTube video.]

Filed under captain america thor hawkeye iron man nick fury submission