Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

Posts tagged spider man

372 notes

[Submitted by: fannishminded
Running out of lube is not a legitimate emergency.
S.H.I.E.L.D. emergency airspace priority orders and acquisition resources are not to be used for purpose of acquiring ANY non-essential supplies; such as sexual aids or supplies for “perfect first times.”
Non-essential supplies are anything not actively needed for saving human lives. Specific examples of what is not to be acquired via S.H.I.E.L.D. resources includes lube, chocolate fondue, edible paints, silk-lined handcuffs, ball gags or warming dishes.
Tony Stark is further reminded that Peter Parker is, in fact, still under age, as are Theodore and William. As a result of this I have re-evaluated the effectiveness of simple memos and reminders of the Sexual Harassment policies.
I am ordering a mandatory week long sexual harassment course for the following personnel:
EVERYONE.
You can all thank Mr. Stark for this at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning.]

[Submitted by: fannishminded

Running out of lube is not a legitimate emergency.

S.H.I.E.L.D. emergency airspace priority orders and acquisition resources are not to be used for purpose of acquiring ANY non-essential supplies; such as sexual aids or supplies for “perfect first times.”

Non-essential supplies are anything not actively needed for saving human lives. Specific examples of what is not to be acquired via S.H.I.E.L.D. resources includes lube, chocolate fondue, edible paints, silk-lined handcuffs, ball gags or warming dishes.

Tony Stark is further reminded that Peter Parker is, in fact, still under age, as are Theodore and William. As a result of this I have re-evaluated the effectiveness of simple memos and reminders of the Sexual Harassment policies.

I am ordering a mandatory week long sexual harassment course for the following personnel:

EVERYONE.

You can all thank Mr. Stark for this at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning.]

Filed under spider man hulkling wiccan iron man Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission ..AAAND WE'RE BACK

316 notes

 
[Submitted by: Zathras10
Due to certain incidents that have come to my attention, this office hereby categorically states that under NO circumstances are any S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel or affiliates to ask Peter Parker, AKA Spider-Man, whether any of his senses or extremities are currently “tingling.” He is still underage.]

 

[Submitted by: Zathras10

Due to certain incidents that have come to my attention, this office hereby categorically states that under NO circumstances are any S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel or affiliates to ask Peter Parker, AKA Spider-Man, whether any of his senses or extremities are currently “tingling.” He is still underage.]

Filed under spider man Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission