Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

Posts tagged marvel

555 notes

[Submitted by: comics0026
In the event that Dr. Banner suffers a Wardrobe Malfunction while “Hulking Out,” personnel are reminded that taking a picture of said Malfunction (even if it’s for “official personnel use”) is strictly prohibited as a violation of Dr. Banner’s privacy.
S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel are also warned that Dr. Banner WILL find out about any such photos, as Loki greatly enjoys watching the Hulk “beat the crap out of OTHER people.”]

[Submitted by: comics0026

In the event that Dr. Banner suffers a Wardrobe Malfunction while “Hulking Out,” personnel are reminded that taking a picture of said Malfunction (even if it’s for “official personnel use”) is strictly prohibited as a violation of Dr. Banner’s privacy.

S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel are also warned that Dr. Banner WILL find out about any such photos, as Loki greatly enjoys watching the Hulk “beat the crap out of OTHER people.”]

Filed under The Hulk loki Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission

507 notes

[Submitted by: notanightlight
The next agent who writes “YOLO” on their incident report will be responsible for digitally archiving ALL of the S.H.I.E.L.D. incident reports that have been filed since 1963.
Any wise guys who use the phrase after this will be involuntarily volunteering their time to help with this task.
Don’t expect to see field work for another three years.]

[Submitted by: notanightlight

The next agent who writes “YOLO” on their incident report will be responsible for digitally archiving ALL of the S.H.I.E.L.D. incident reports that have been filed since 1963.

Any wise guys who use the phrase after this will be involuntarily volunteering their time to help with this task.

Don’t expect to see field work for another three years.]

Filed under Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission

731 notes

[Submitted by: heavilyparaphrased
Doctors Banner, Ross, Foster, and Pym are reminded that there is no need to “double check” anything tested on Mythbusters, especially not during work hours.
Also, since several people have asked: there are currently no plans for S.H.I.E.L.D. to team up with the Mythbusters. Mr. Stark is making his own arrangements, so any further inquiries should be directed towards him.]

[Submitted by: heavilyparaphrased

Doctors Banner, Ross, Foster, and Pym are reminded that there is no need to “double check” anything tested on Mythbusters, especially not during work hours.

Also, since several people have asked: there are currently no plans for S.H.I.E.L.D. to team up with the Mythbusters. Mr. Stark is making his own arrangements, so any further inquiries should be directed towards him.]

Filed under the hulk betty ross jane foster ant man Iron Man Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission

581 notes

[Submitted by: thingsyourarelyhearthequeensay
It has come to my attention that someone has replaced the pressure sensitive touch pads on Mr. Parker’s web shooters with plastic ‘squeaker’ toys three times this month. This is both unprofessional and potentially endangers the lives of Mr. Parker and those who work with him.
An investigation has been launched to determine the culprit. In the meantime, Mr. Stark has been ordered to knock it off, on general principle.]

[Submitted by: thingsyourarelyhearthequeensay

It has come to my attention that someone has replaced the pressure sensitive touch pads on Mr. Parker’s web shooters with plastic ‘squeaker’ toys three times this month. This is both unprofessional and potentially endangers the lives of Mr. Parker and those who work with him.

An investigation has been launched to determine the culprit. In the meantime, Mr. Stark has been ordered to knock it off, on general principle.]

Filed under spider-man Iron Man Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission