Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

Posts tagged loki

284 notes

Loki is reminded that the Chitauri sceptre no longer belongs to him, and that it should be returned immediately.

 

He is also obligated to return agent Barton to his former, uncompromised state once more. We can only rely on agent Romanoff’s violence for so long.

 

Loki is reminded that agent Barton answers to me, and only me, no matter how much you “Miss your little Hawk”.

Loki is reminded that the Chitauri sceptre no longer belongs to him, and that it should be returned immediately.

 

He is also obligated to return agent Barton to his former, uncompromised state once more. We can only rely on agent Romanoff’s violence for so long.

 

Loki is reminded that agent Barton answers to me, and only me, no matter how much you “Miss your little Hawk”.

Filed under submission nick fury hawkeye loki

389 notes

When Loki wears his ceremonial helmet, any employee who infers his resemblance to the Easter bunny does so at his or her own risk. That said, I would ask Loki to please turn the basket of eggs in my office back into Agent Wilson.

When Loki wears his ceremonial helmet, any employee who infers his resemblance to the Easter bunny does so at his or her own risk.

That said, I would ask Loki to please turn the basket of eggs in my office back into Agent Wilson.

Filed under submission deadpool loki

181 notes

Thor and Loki are hereby informed that their presentation on the appropriation of pagan fertility symbols into modern holidays – while informative - was ill-timed.  Easter is always on a Sunday; there is no need for this sh*t to take place during business hours.

Thor and Loki are hereby informed that their presentation on the appropriation of pagan fertility symbols into modern holidays – while informative - was ill-timed.  Easter is always on a Sunday; there is no need for this sh*t to take place during business hours.

Filed under submission nick fury loki

1,023 notes

[Submitted by: Erik Jackson
Mr. Stark has recently suffered a curse from Loki that has rendered him incapable of any speech or movement.  He is currently resting in the third room of the infirmary.  Thank you notes to Loki can be sent to his quarters.]

[Submitted by: Erik Jackson

Mr. Stark has recently suffered a curse from Loki that has rendered him incapable of any speech or movement.  He is currently resting in the third room of the infirmary.  Thank you notes to Loki can be sent to his quarters.]

Filed under iron man loki nick fury submission

194 notes

It is the stated objective of S.H.I.E.L.D to protect the nations and people from all threats terestial or extraterrestrial.

Diverting the Helicarrier to rescue a kitten is not a threat to a nation or more than a few families.  No matter how many times Loki says you have permission.
Failure to follow this directive will result in a deduction from any Agent’s pay who issues or assists with said order to pay for the temp worker to straighten out civil flight plans.

It is the stated objective of S.H.I.E.L.D to protect the nations and people from all threats terestial or extraterrestrial.

Diverting the Helicarrier to rescue a kitten is not a threat to a nation or more than a few families.  No matter how many times Loki says you have permission.

Failure to follow this directive will result in a deduction from any Agent’s pay who issues or assists with said order to pay for the temp worker to straighten out civil flight plans.

Filed under submission loki

338 notes

[Whether or not they think he might be listening at the time, the next person to refer to Loki as a Grinch will be responsible for dealing with the city’s worth of children that have had their Christmas stolen.]

[Whether or not they think he might be listening at the time, the next person to refer to Loki as a Grinch will be responsible for dealing with the city’s worth of children that have had their Christmas stolen.]

Filed under submission loki

734 notes

[Submitted by: Gayle
Regarding the upcoming Halloween party, Loki is to be reminded that bobbing for apples is a time-honored tradition that does not require modification.  Specifically, the apples do not need a “sporting chance” and should not be enchanted to bite back.]

[Submitted by: Gayle

Regarding the upcoming Halloween party, Loki is to be reminded that bobbing for apples is a time-honored tradition that does not require modification.  Specifically, the apples do not need a “sporting chance” and should not be enchanted to bite back.]

Filed under loki

161 notes

Made Rebloggable By Request.

"Sir, would it be possible to come up with a more severe punishment than Loki Sitting? We are getting reports of agents purposely breaking the rules to Loki sit. I thing something more severe is necessary."
 geekgirl101

Those agents are morons. Anyone who thinks that Loki-sitting ISN’T a severe enough punishment is a moron.

He’s not going to play cute little tricks on you. He’s going to attempt to remove your internal organs with sharp things.

Filed under loki

382 notes

[Submitted by: grimsister21
Agent Wilson is not allowed to make a life sized piñata of me for the office Halloween party. Also, Loki and Mr. Stark are not allowed to help him record me, make said piñata sound like me, animate the piñata, and so on. 
If something like this will happens, I WILL use the three of them as my own piñatas.]

[Submitted by: grimsister21

Agent Wilson is not allowed to make a life sized piñata of me for the office Halloween party. Also, Loki and Mr. Stark are not allowed to help him record me, make said piñata sound like me, animate the piñata, and so on. 

If something like this will happens, I WILL use the three of them as my own piñatas.]

Filed under deadpool iron man loki nick fury halloween submission