Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

Posts tagged captain america

638 notes

Re: yesterday’s “unpleasantness”:

Lt. Col. Rhodes - I am disappointed, Colonel.  I expected better from you. 

Mr. Stark - I did not expect better from you.  However, I am still f***ing pissed.

Capt. Rogers - You tried.  Next time, try harder.

Re: yesterday’s “unpleasantness”:


Lt. Col. Rhodes - I am disappointed, Colonel.  I expected better from you. 


Mr. Stark - I did not expect better from you.  However, I am still f***ing pissed.


Capt. Rogers - You tried.  Next time, try harder.

Filed under submission nick fury iron man captain america

297 notes

[Submitted by: thecomposerofshibuya
The S.H.I.E.L.D. talent show will take place this coming Tuesday at 8:00 P.M. sharp. All metahumans are advised that talents, in this case, do not include those you use to save lives on a daily basis. 
In addition, all ventriloquism is banned after last year’s incident with Mr. Stark and the Captain America puppet.]

[Submitted by: thecomposerofshibuya

The S.H.I.E.L.D. talent show will take place this coming Tuesday at 8:00 P.M. sharp. All metahumans are advised that talents, in this case, do not include those you use to save lives on a daily basis. 

In addition, all ventriloquism is banned after last year’s incident with Mr. Stark and the Captain America puppet.]

Filed under iron man captain america nick fury submission

183 notes

[Submitted by: CathrineRose
All agents are reminded that, while SHIELD is not the army, any action/item/activity inspired by “Skippy’s List” should be considered forbidden.
This means that you are not to:
Consider it a “bucket list”, “to do list,” or any other form of plan.
Inform Thor or Captain America that it is a list of tasks to be completed to join any club, society, “brotherhood of warriors” or any other organization.
Inform recruits that it must be completed to join SHIELD.
Suggest to other agencies that any item is encouraged in SHIELD.]

[Submitted by: CathrineRose

All agents are reminded that, while SHIELD is not the army, any action/item/activity inspired by “Skippy’s List” should be considered forbidden.

This means that you are not to:

  • Consider it a “bucket list”, “to do list,” or any other form of plan.
  • Inform Thor or Captain America that it is a list of tasks to be completed to join any club, society, “brotherhood of warriors” or any other organization.
  • Inform recruits that it must be completed to join SHIELD.
  • Suggest to other agencies that any item is encouraged in SHIELD.]

Filed under nick fury submission thor captain america

422 notes

[Submitted by: madmaudlingoes
All S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel are reminded that Capt. Rogers and Thor Odinson have received extensive training in personal computing skills, including all the software in use on agency-owned machines and Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing. They do not need your help to complete any of our electronic forms, no matter what vague or unsettling comments they may make about “tubes,” “runes,” “speaking lights,” “radio-vision,” “Internets,” or “cup holders.” Please do not aid or abet them.]

[Submitted by: madmaudlingoes

All S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel are reminded that Capt. Rogers and Thor Odinson have received extensive training in personal computing skills, including all the software in use on agency-owned machines and Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing. They do not need your help to complete any of our electronic forms, no matter what vague or unsettling comments they may make about “tubes,” “runes,” “speaking lights,” “radio-vision,” “Internets,” or “cup holders.” Please do not aid or abet them.]

Filed under captain america thor nick fury submission

308 notes

[Submitted by: sarisarahe
All agents are reminded that while offsite meals may on be expensed as work-related if proper documentation is provided, excursions to all-you-can-eat buffets involving Captain Rogers and Thor do not fall into that category.
Mr. Stark and Agent Barton are advised to cease submitting requests to that effect, as I have seen the YouTube video.]

[Submitted by: sarisarahe

All agents are reminded that while offsite meals may on be expensed as work-related if proper documentation is provided, excursions to all-you-can-eat buffets involving Captain Rogers and Thor do not fall into that category.

Mr. Stark and Agent Barton are advised to cease submitting requests to that effect, as I have seen the YouTube video.]

Filed under captain america thor hawkeye iron man nick fury submission

297 notes

[Submitted by: williamthebloody
Despite the possible PR value, there are no plans to produce ‘Captain America Authentic Steve Rogers Flavored Capsicles.’  Please stop contacting manufacturers.
In addition, I have been very reliably informed that Mr. Stark’s suggestion as to what the ‘authentic flavoring’ could entail contravenes several laws.
Agent Hill has also asked me to point out to Mr. Stark that, despite his assertions, she does know “exactly to what he refers.”]

[Submitted by: williamthebloody

Despite the possible PR value, there are no plans to produce ‘Captain America Authentic Steve Rogers Flavored Capsicles.’  Please stop contacting manufacturers.

In addition, I have been very reliably informed that Mr. Stark’s suggestion as to what the ‘authentic flavoring’ could entail contravenes several laws.

Agent Hill has also asked me to point out to Mr. Stark that, despite his assertions, she does know “exactly to what he refers.”]

Filed under captain america iron man maria hill nick fury

439 notes

[Submitted by: comics0026
Dr. McCoy and Agent Romanoff are being placed in charge of teaching Capt. Rogers and Thor about various modern technologies and the related security protocols.
Mr. Stark and Agent Barton have been relieved of this duty, due to their use of inappropriate visual aids, “hands on” demonstrations, and having Deadpool and Loki “assist” them, all of which they were expressly forbidden from doing.]

[Submitted by: comics0026

Dr. McCoy and Agent Romanoff are being placed in charge of teaching Capt. Rogers and Thor about various modern technologies and the related security protocols.

Mr. Stark and Agent Barton have been relieved of this duty, due to their use of inappropriate visual aids, “hands on” demonstrations, and having Deadpool and Loki “assist” them, all of which they were expressly forbidden from doing.]

Filed under beast Black Widow captain america thor Iron Man hawkeye deadpool loki submission Nick Fury