Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

Posts tagged ant man

115 notes

Agents are to refrain from asking Agent van Dyne about her ex-husband’s research regarding “pimp articles.”
Additionally, effective immediately, S.H.I.E.L.D. medical facilities will no longer provide first aid treatment for “wasp stings.”  Deal with it on your own dime, people.

Agents are to refrain from asking Agent van Dyne about her ex-husband’s research regarding “pimp articles.”

Additionally, effective immediately, S.H.I.E.L.D. medical facilities will no longer provide first aid treatment for “wasp stings.”  Deal with it on your own dime, people.

Filed under nick fury submission the wasp ant man

687 notes

[Submitted by: eager-love-revenge
All agents are to address Henry Pym and Bruce Banner as “Dr. Pym” and “Dr. Banner” respectively, regardless of the number of post-graduate degrees between them.
On a related note, under no circumstances should Mr. Stark be addressed as “Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Stark”, despite his insistence.]

[Submitted by: eager-love-revenge

All agents are to address Henry Pym and Bruce Banner as “Dr. Pym” and “Dr. Banner” respectively, regardless of the number of post-graduate degrees between them.

On a related note, under no circumstances should Mr. Stark be addressed as “Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Stark”, despite his insistence.]

Filed under ant man the hulk iron man nick fury submission

209 notes

[Submitted by: PirateDevon
This is a note to all science and engineering teams that coating slinkies with Dr. Pym’s “Pym Particles” or Dr. Richards’ “Unstable Molecules” and ‘racing’ them down the central command deck stairwell is neither good science nor appropriate behavior.]

[Submitted by: PirateDevon

This is a note to all science and engineering teams that coating slinkies with Dr. Pym’s “Pym Particles” or Dr. Richards’ “Unstable Molecules” and ‘racing’ them down the central command deck stairwell is neither good science nor appropriate behavior.]

Filed under ant man mr. fantastic nick fury submission

701 notes

[Submitted by: heavilyparaphrased
Doctors Banner, Ross, Foster, and Pym are reminded that there is no need to “double check” anything tested on Mythbusters, especially not during work hours.
Also, since several people have asked: there are currently no plans for S.H.I.E.L.D. to team up with the Mythbusters. Mr. Stark is making his own arrangements, so any further inquiries should be directed towards him.]

[Submitted by: heavilyparaphrased

Doctors Banner, Ross, Foster, and Pym are reminded that there is no need to “double check” anything tested on Mythbusters, especially not during work hours.

Also, since several people have asked: there are currently no plans for S.H.I.E.L.D. to team up with the Mythbusters. Mr. Stark is making his own arrangements, so any further inquiries should be directed towards him.]

Filed under the hulk betty ross jane foster ant man Iron Man Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission

285 notes

[Submitted by: iseulttoinjury
The second attempt to hold the Annual S.H.I.E.L.D. Barbecue and Picnic will be this first Saturday in August.
Dr. Hank Pym apologizes profusely for the chaos he caused at the first event. He has promised not to drink anything alcoholic this time, especially Thor’s mead.
A Reminder: Only Asgardians are allowed to consume Asgardian mead.
Not even “for science,” Stark.]

[Submitted by: iseulttoinjury

The second attempt to hold the Annual S.H.I.E.L.D. Barbecue and Picnic will be this first Saturday in August.

Dr. Hank Pym apologizes profusely for the chaos he caused at the first event. He has promised not to drink anything alcoholic this time, especially Thor’s mead.

A Reminder: Only Asgardians are allowed to consume Asgardian mead.

Not even “for science,” Stark.]

Filed under ant man iron man Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission

658 notes

[Submitted by: NezumiPi 
With regard to the Valentine’s Day holiday, S.H.I.E.L.D. would like to remind all agents that greeting cards, stuffed animals, floral arrangements, and chocolates are considered appropriate Valentine’s Day gifts in the workplace.  
The following are not considered appropriate: radioactive tracers, syphilis, surveillance photos, or anything that could be described as “anatomically correct”.
Also, someone needs to tell Hank Pym that a thousand ants walking around in the shape of a heart is not romantic.  It’s fucking disgusting and if I see it again, I will break out the Raid.]

[Submitted by: NezumiPi 

With regard to the Valentine’s Day holiday, S.H.I.E.L.D. would like to remind all agents that greeting cards, stuffed animals, floral arrangements, and chocolates are considered appropriate Valentine’s Day gifts in the workplace.  

The following are not considered appropriate: radioactive tracers, syphilis, surveillance photos, or anything that could be described as “anatomically correct”.

Also, someone needs to tell Hank Pym that a thousand ants walking around in the shape of a heart is not romantic.  It’s fucking disgusting and if I see it again, I will break out the Raid.]

Filed under ant man Nick Fury S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers marvel submission valentines