[Submitted by: agentwishiwasanavenger
All S.H.I.E.L.D personnel are hereby informed that attending the “S.H.I.E.L.D End of Summer Beach Bonfire” is a privilege, not a right and the entire event WILL be canceled should anyone attempt the following.
- Using Johnny Storm AKA The Human Torch as the bonfire.
- Stealing Loki’s helmet for s’mores.
- Convincing any not-culturally-up-to-date Agency individuals that the event is some sort of secret pagan ritual.
Furthermore, Mr. Stark is reminded that any and all variations of using lines about “having sand in his suit” will result in his being required to retake the ENTIRE sexual harassment course.]