Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

796 notes

Loki would like to know who is responsible for giving him a new saddle and bridle for Mother’s Day.I would personally discourage anyone from coming forward as you will probably end up wearing it. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.P.S. S.H.I.E.L.D. is not liable for any medical costs resulting from you being into that sort of thing.

Loki would like to know who is responsible for giving him a new saddle and bridle for Mother’s Day.

I would personally discourage anyone from coming forward as you will probably end up wearing it. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.

P.S. S.H.I.E.L.D. is not liable for any medical costs resulting from you being into that sort of thing.

Filed under submission loki

930 notes

Agent Wilson, this is your one and only warning - return our stationery, or I can personally guarantee you will never see chimichangas for the rest of your life.

Agent Wilson, this is your one and only warning - return our stationery, or I can personally guarantee you will never see chimichangas for the rest of your life.

Filed under submission deadpool

445 notes

No matter what Mr. Stark says, Friday is NOT the international holiday “Iron Man Christmas”. 
No agents will be given vacation or sick days on Friday so you can go see Mr. Stark’s new movie.
And to answer your questions now, yes, I have seen the movie - it was good, but could’ve used more of Mr. Samuel L. Jackson.

No matter what Mr. Stark says, Friday is NOT the international holiday “Iron Man Christmas”. 

No agents will be given vacation or sick days on Friday so you can go see Mr. Stark’s new movie.

And to answer your questions now, yes, I have seen the movie - it was good, but could’ve used more of Mr. Samuel L. Jackson.

Filed under submission iron man

113 notes

moreagaara asked: In regards to your most recent memo, are we allowed to show Loki, say, Game of Thrones in order to see which house he most identifies with?

Are you suggesting we allow a situation that will make Loki deeply consider the matter of family?

545 notes

All personnel are asked to refrain from giving Loki any form of current media on the grounds of “we wanted to see what ideas he would get”. Should any agent be discovered doing so, they shall be given Loki-sitting duty for a month.
On a related note, Agents Barton and Wilson, Dr. Banner, and Mr. Stark have until Noon today to get every last Tribble, Mogwai, Fizzgig, and other assorted critters off my boat. Failure in this task will result in the four of them being locked in Loki’s quarters, and Loki shall be given copies of both Hostel films and all movies in the Saw series.
Good luck.

All personnel are asked to refrain from giving Loki any form of current media on the grounds of “we wanted to see what ideas he would get”. Should any agent be discovered doing so, they shall be given Loki-sitting duty for a month.

On a related note, Agents Barton and Wilson, Dr. Banner, and Mr. Stark have until Noon today to get every last Tribble, Mogwai, Fizzgig, and other assorted critters off my boat. Failure in this task will result in the four of them being locked in Loki’s quarters, and Loki shall be given copies of both Hostel films and all movies in the Saw series.

Good luck.

Filed under submission

188 notes

Loki and Ms. Lewis are to cease using the PA system to blast “Slytherin Night" under the pretense of expressing their house pride. They are also to stop trying to convince the junior agents to emulate the song lyrics. Encouraging them is detrimental to productivity and general mental health.

Loki and Ms. Lewis are to cease using the PA system to blast “Slytherin Night" under the pretense of expressing their house pride. They are also to stop trying to convince the junior agents to emulate the song lyrics. Encouraging them is detrimental to productivity and general mental health.

Filed under submission loki

23 notes

evolutionarypsyche asked: So far in my reading it's obvious this site ships Thorki. Will my asks or memos be accepted if I ship Loki (either of them I suppose but I really want to know about Loki) with someone else?

((I’m actually a new mod and I decidedly do NOT ship Thorki myself- to be honest, it skeeves me out pretty badly- so please, by all means, go ahead!))

165 notes

Be advised that “You’ll never see me coming” is NOT an acceptable 
RSVP response to Mr. Stark’s office party invitation.  

S.H.I.E.L.D. is not responsible for any outbursts of 
“good old fashioned revenge” that this the use of this phrase
triggers on the part of Mr. Stark.

Be advised that “You’ll never see me coming” is NOT an acceptable 

RSVP response to Mr. Stark’s office party invitation.  

S.H.I.E.L.D. is not responsible for any outbursts of 

“good old fashioned revenge” that this the use of this phrase

triggers on the part of Mr. Stark.

Filed under submission iron man

137 notes

Let it be known that S.H.I.E.L.D. Command does not condone the actions of last Saturday evening. 
While the Director appreciates that members of the Avengers Initiative, wished to help him celebrate his birthday, we cannot condone the waste of manpower, and time that was required to remove the Director’s personal fighter from the ceiling of the landing bay.
We appreciate that Alaska is considered the duct-tape capital of the world, but several manufacturers are now scrambling to cover the sudden surge of orders in the state, thanks to this prank. 
While we are sure that State of Alaska appreciates the sudden influx of S.H.I.E.L.D. funds and personnel, we have assured them that nothing like this will ever be allowed to happen again.
If Mr Stark has any questions on this matter, he should be refered directly to Directory Fury’s office.We have been assured that Director Fury has been taking the anti-psychotics that were prescribed by Doctor Banner, and that the green tinge to his skin is a normal side-effect of this treatment.

Let it be known that S.H.I.E.L.D. Command does not condone the actions of last Saturday evening. 

While the Director appreciates that members of the Avengers Initiative, wished to help him celebrate his birthday, we cannot condone the waste of manpower, and time that was required to remove the Director’s personal fighter from the ceiling of the landing bay.

We appreciate that Alaska is considered the duct-tape capital of the world, but several manufacturers are now scrambling to cover the sudden surge of orders in the state, thanks to this prank. 

While we are sure that State of Alaska appreciates the sudden influx of S.H.I.E.L.D. funds and personnel, we have assured them that nothing like this will ever be allowed to happen again.

If Mr Stark has any questions on this matter, he should be refered directly to Directory Fury’s office.We have been assured that Director Fury has been taking the anti-psychotics that were prescribed by Doctor Banner, and that the green tinge to his skin is a normal side-effect of this treatment.

Filed under submission nick fury the hulk

283 notes

Loki is reminded that the Chitauri sceptre no longer belongs to him, and that it should be returned immediately.

 

He is also obligated to return agent Barton to his former, uncompromised state once more. We can only rely on agent Romanoff’s violence for so long.

 

Loki is reminded that agent Barton answers to me, and only me, no matter how much you “Miss your little Hawk”.

Loki is reminded that the Chitauri sceptre no longer belongs to him, and that it should be returned immediately.

 

He is also obligated to return agent Barton to his former, uncompromised state once more. We can only rely on agent Romanoff’s violence for so long.

 

Loki is reminded that agent Barton answers to me, and only me, no matter how much you “Miss your little Hawk”.

Filed under submission nick fury hawkeye loki