Sorry that this blog has been nearly inactive for a month- in case you didn’t notice, there’s been a new mod- me- for the last few months, and I’ll admit that it’s taking me a bit of time to get into the swing of things, along with dealing with some IRL stuff. I’m going to be going through a backlog of submissions and posting them throughout the weekend to catch up, so if you submitted, hang tight- your memo will be up here soon.
Aside from that, Loki’s Army Gives Back will be getting a Tumblr of its own this weekend, and a link will be provided in the sidebar. Stay tuned.))
Brotherly bonding notwithstanding, it is not in the best interests of the Division to have Captain America run up the flag pole to celebrate the U.S. Flag Day or Independence Day holidays.
Thor and Loki are hereby assigned to clean up after Dr. Banner’s most recent Hulk rampage. I expect to find everything repaired, in good order, and clean no later than 2200 hours today. Captain Rogers will be by to perform a white glove inspection at that time.
Whoever sent 64 paternity suit letters to Mr. Stark as a Father’s Day present needs to identify themselves to me immediately.
There will be no disciplinary action. I just need to know where to send the fruit basket.
It would seem that all the printers in the building will only print pages saying: “All work and no play makes Fury a dull boy”. IT says they can’t find anything wrong with the system. We would very much appreciate it if whichever Avenger is involved would fix it ASAP. We already have a backlog of reports that will take the better part of the holiday weekend to reprint.
I do not care if Agent Wilson is annoying, he is a SHIELD Agent, not ‘an infinitely resuable sacrifice to the Allfather’ for Summer Solstice, Autumn Equinox, Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox. I don’t care if he says its okay with him, its not okay with me.
This means you.
In related news, Loki’s pointy objects privileges have been revoked after this incident and another one involving Agent Wilson and a pencil.
Whoever showed Loki ‘The Dark Knight’ is sentenced to being new handler for the Young Avengers.
If you willingly offer yourself as Assistant to Loki as part of his magic act in the ‘SHIELD Got’s Talent’ show, any injuries will not be covered under the SHIELD Health Policy, as this comes under ‘Flagrant Acts of Dumbassery’ clause which rules all claims to medical assistance and compensation invalid.
If you survive long enough to claim health coverage, you will be forced to submit to both an IQ test and a psychiatric evaluation. You are either too dumb to work for SHIELD or insane enough to be classed in the same category of insanity as Agent Wilson.