Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

363 notes

While we here at S.H.I.E.L.D. do appreciate a little bit of culture every so often, I must ask that whoever has programmed the computer to acknowledge Agent Barton’s login with the “William Tell Overture” please disable this feature immediately, Mr. Stark. P.S. This also applies to the “Hi, yo, Silver, away!” that the computer now emits whenever the helicarrier thrusters are engaged.

While we here at S.H.I.E.L.D. do appreciate a little bit of culture every so often, I must ask that whoever has programmed the computer to acknowledge Agent Barton’s login with the “William Tell Overture” please disable this feature immediately, Mr. Stark.

P.S. This also applies to the “Hi, yo, Silver, away!” that the computer now emits whenever the helicarrier thrusters are engaged.

Filed under submission nick fury iron man hawkeye

139 notes

somecallmemalice asked: My mother used to be a bus driver. She could set the entire bus of K-8 students into shaking silence by merely pulling the bus over. She didn't have to say anything, didn't have to turn around. Just sat as the students fell into a terrified silence. Do you think SHIELD could use her for interrogations?

Absolutely. You’d think I was working with a pack of amateurs over here.

35 notes

pinkamenaiscrazy asked: How does one go about becoming a shield agent? And are you hiring?

Please go away now.

33 notes

no-misha-stahp asked: Asdfghjkl the Memo about the Avengers Bohemian Rhapsody Sing-Along must be turned into an animation RIGHT AWAY PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE ANYBODY

Somebody want to tackle this? I’d love to see it!

566 notes

The unauthorized (and frankly disturbing) “Avengers slash-fic” forum discovered on the SHIELD computer system has been deleted. In an unrelated matter, Mr. Stark’s computer privleges have been revoked until further notice.

The unauthorized (and frankly disturbing) “Avengers slash-fic” forum discovered on the SHIELD computer system has been deleted.

In an unrelated matter, Mr. Stark’s computer privleges have been revoked until further notice.

Filed under nick fury iron man submission

111 notes

[Please stop making bets about Hercules’ love life. He takes that shit as a personal challenge, and while good for morale, it’s been damaging productivity.]

[Please stop making bets about Hercules’ love life. He takes that shit as a personal challenge, and while good for morale, it’s been damaging productivity.]

Filed under submission hercules

145 notes

SHIELD encourages independent thought among its staff and recognises that under extreme circumstances they may need to take actions not permitted at other times. Nonetheless, we do have a chain of command and organised succession protocols, and so Agent Romanov is hereby instructed to hand over the USB stick she used to log in as me while I was indisposed during that little incident over Christmas.

SHIELD encourages independent thought among its staff and recognises that under extreme circumstances they may need to take actions not permitted at other times.

Nonetheless, we do have a chain of command and organised succession protocols, and so Agent Romanov is hereby instructed to hand over the USB stick she used to log in as me while I was indisposed during that little incident over Christmas.

Filed under submission

310 notes

The United States government has stated that it does not want to and cannot afford to construct its own planet-destroying battle station. Attempts to engineer circumstances which leave them no alternative will not be tolerated, no matter how ‘cool’ it is speculated that the result could be. This memorandum particularly applies to circumstances in which key contracts are ‘mysteriously’ awarded to Stark Industries.

The United States government has stated that it does not want to and cannot afford to construct its own planet-destroying battle station. Attempts to engineer circumstances which leave them no alternative will not be tolerated, no matter how ‘cool’ it is speculated that the result could be.

This memorandum particularly applies to circumstances in which key contracts are ‘mysteriously’ awarded to Stark Industries.

Filed under submission iron man

991 notes

[Submitted by: Erik Jackson Mr. Stark has recently suffered a curse from Loki that has rendered him incapable of any speech or movement.  He is currently resting in the third room of the infirmary.  Thank you notes to Loki can be sent to his quarters.]

[Submitted by: Erik Jackson

Mr. Stark has recently suffered a curse from Loki that has rendered him incapable of any speech or movement.  He is currently resting in the third room of the infirmary.  Thank you notes to Loki can be sent to his quarters.]

Filed under iron man loki nick fury submission

258 notes

[Submitted by: Aerowyn  It is not recommended to come in dressed as your favorite office couple (or possible couple) because it’s “cute” and you “totally ship it.” Especially if said couple is on the Avengers team.  Especially if you come in costume as two certain assassins.]

[Submitted by: Aerowyn 

It is not recommended to come in dressed as your favorite office couple (or possible couple) because it’s “cute” and you “totally ship it.” Especially if said couple is on the Avengers team. 

Especially if you come in costume as two certain assassins.]

Filed under nick fury hawkeye black widow submission