While we here at S.H.I.E.L.D. do appreciate a little bit of culture every so often, I must ask that whoever has programmed the computer to acknowledge Agent Barton’s login with the “William Tell Overture” please disable this feature immediately, Mr. Stark.
P.S. This also applies to the “Hi, yo, Silver, away!” that the computer now emits whenever the helicarrier thrusters are engaged.
The unauthorized (and frankly disturbing) “Avengers slash-fic” forum discovered on the SHIELD computer system has been deleted.
In an unrelated matter, Mr. Stark’s computer privleges have been revoked until further notice.
[Please stop making bets about Hercules’ love life. He takes that shit as a personal challenge, and while good for morale, it’s been damaging productivity.]
SHIELD encourages independent thought among its staff and recognises that under extreme circumstances they may need to take actions not permitted at other times.
Nonetheless, we do have a chain of command and organised succession protocols, and so Agent Romanov is hereby instructed to hand over the USB stick she used to log in as me while I was indisposed during that little incident over Christmas.
The United States government has stated that it does not want to and cannot afford to construct its own planet-destroying battle station. Attempts to engineer circumstances which leave them no alternative will not be tolerated, no matter how ‘cool’ it is speculated that the result could be.
This memorandum particularly applies to circumstances in which key contracts are ‘mysteriously’ awarded to Stark Industries.
[Submitted by: Erik Jackson
Mr. Stark has recently suffered a curse from Loki that has rendered him incapable of any speech or movement. He is currently resting in the third room of the infirmary. Thank you notes to Loki can be sent to his quarters.]
[Submitted by: Aerowyn
It is not recommended to come in dressed as your favorite office couple (or possible couple) because it’s “cute” and you “totally ship it.” Especially if said couple is on the Avengers team.
Especially if you come in costume as two certain assassins.]