Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

61 notes

mad-hatter-teacups asked: Director Fury, I have a concern to make in regards to Miss Darcy Lewis abusing the tazer charging station for personal use on Mister Stark for her sexual harassment solutions (since the pink slips don't appear to work). Would you send someone over to look into the incident? I have concerns that by Agent Coulson taking her tazer away, Miss Lewis might convince the medical staff to let her the defibrillator to use as backup to use against Mister Stark. Thank you, Agent 22.

I’m sure Coulson means well, but as sexual harassment is not to be tolerated here at S.H.I.E.L.D., I’ll see to it that alternative means are provided.

If Stark doesn’t learn from it, that’s his problem. 

51 notes

lulabell-li asked: Sir, is it possible for me, at all, to join your organization?

We have a fairly stringent admissions screening policy.

Agent Wilson’s a notable exception.

14 notes

Monday Roundup

lokisarmygivesback:

The campaign’s gotten off to a great start, you guys! So far we have made $120 for Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital, with 69 days left to go.

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Let’s keep this going!

Filed under ooc

430 notes

A reminder to all agents:  Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is anyone to give Deadpool glitter.  The next time this happens, the offender will be trussed up and placed on Deadpool’s doorstep to do with what he wants.

A reminder to all agents:  Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is anyone to give Deadpool glitter.  The next time this happens, the offender will be trussed up and placed on Deadpool’s doorstep to do with what he wants.

Filed under deadpool submission s.h.i.e.l.d.

52 notes

lady-ofthe-fandom asked: Sir? I'm reporting sighting of Mr. Star and Mr. Banner carrying what appeared to be a Cat, two bunsen burners, a bucket of smoking liquid, a case of side walk chalk and a plate of last night's dinner. Perhaps a Haz Mat squad?

I’ll be sending someone to confiscate the cat immediately. 

201 notes

Submitted by RealmMan

The Chitauri portal device is not to be used as a garbage disposal.We have better things to do than start an interdimensional warwith whom- or whatever is on the other side because someonewas too lazy to find a trash can.

Submitted by RealmMan

The Chitauri portal device is not to be used as a garbage disposal.

We have better things to do than start an interdimensional war
with whom- or whatever is on the other side because someone
was too lazy to find a trash can.

Filed under submission nick fury s.h.i.e.l.d. chitauri