Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

638 notes

Re: yesterday’s “unpleasantness”:

Lt. Col. Rhodes - I am disappointed, Colonel.  I expected better from you. 

Mr. Stark - I did not expect better from you.  However, I am still f***ing pissed.

Capt. Rogers - You tried.  Next time, try harder.

Re: yesterday’s “unpleasantness”:


Lt. Col. Rhodes - I am disappointed, Colonel.  I expected better from you. 


Mr. Stark - I did not expect better from you.  However, I am still f***ing pissed.


Capt. Rogers - You tried.  Next time, try harder.

Filed under submission nick fury iron man captain america

38 notes

notanightlight asked: Hello Director. My computer doesn't have the capability to open and edit the pds file to make a memo. Is there any other way I can get a memo made? Or a blank version of the letterhead?

627 notes

As much as the other Director and I sympathize with your cause, the agent(s) attempting to name the helicarrier ‘Serenity’ by painting it on the side of the ship need to stop immediately. Dohn ma?

As much as the other Director and I sympathize with your cause, the agent(s) attempting to name the helicarrier ‘Serenity’ by painting it on the side of the ship need to stop immediately. Dohn ma?

Filed under submission nick fury

52 notes

antamonie asked: Mr. Fury, Why is it that every night at the conclusion of my dreams you appear and ask EVERYONE AND ANYONE EXCEPT ME to join the avengers?

I’m not accepting responsibility for your subconscious. Why do YOU think you’re not fit to be an Avenger?

373 notes

While we here at S.H.I.E.L.D. do appreciate a little bit of culture every so often, I must ask that whoever has programmed the computer to acknowledge Agent Barton’s login with the “William Tell Overture” please disable this feature immediately, Mr. Stark.
P.S. This also applies to the “Hi, yo, Silver, away!” that the computer now emits whenever the helicarrier thrusters are engaged.

While we here at S.H.I.E.L.D. do appreciate a little bit of culture every so often, I must ask that whoever has programmed the computer to acknowledge Agent Barton’s login with the “William Tell Overture” please disable this feature immediately, Mr. Stark.

P.S. This also applies to the “Hi, yo, Silver, away!” that the computer now emits whenever the helicarrier thrusters are engaged.

Filed under submission nick fury iron man hawkeye

143 notes

somecallmemalice asked: My mother used to be a bus driver. She could set the entire bus of K-8 students into shaking silence by merely pulling the bus over. She didn't have to say anything, didn't have to turn around. Just sat as the students fell into a terrified silence. Do you think SHIELD could use her for interrogations?

Absolutely. You’d think I was working with a pack of amateurs over here.

35 notes

pinkamenaiscrazy asked: How does one go about becoming a shield agent? And are you hiring?

Please go away now.