Memos From Fury

From the Desk of the Director

621 notes

As much as the other Director and I sympathize with your cause, the agent(s) attempting to name the helicarrier ‘Serenity’ by painting it on the side of the ship need to stop immediately. Dohn ma?

As much as the other Director and I sympathize with your cause, the agent(s) attempting to name the helicarrier ‘Serenity’ by painting it on the side of the ship need to stop immediately. Dohn ma?

Filed under submission nick fury

52 notes

antamonie asked: Mr. Fury, Why is it that every night at the conclusion of my dreams you appear and ask EVERYONE AND ANYONE EXCEPT ME to join the avengers?

I’m not accepting responsibility for your subconscious. Why do YOU think you’re not fit to be an Avenger?

368 notes

While we here at S.H.I.E.L.D. do appreciate a little bit of culture every so often, I must ask that whoever has programmed the computer to acknowledge Agent Barton’s login with the “William Tell Overture” please disable this feature immediately, Mr. Stark.
P.S. This also applies to the “Hi, yo, Silver, away!” that the computer now emits whenever the helicarrier thrusters are engaged.

While we here at S.H.I.E.L.D. do appreciate a little bit of culture every so often, I must ask that whoever has programmed the computer to acknowledge Agent Barton’s login with the “William Tell Overture” please disable this feature immediately, Mr. Stark.

P.S. This also applies to the “Hi, yo, Silver, away!” that the computer now emits whenever the helicarrier thrusters are engaged.

Filed under submission nick fury iron man hawkeye

143 notes

somecallmemalice asked: My mother used to be a bus driver. She could set the entire bus of K-8 students into shaking silence by merely pulling the bus over. She didn't have to say anything, didn't have to turn around. Just sat as the students fell into a terrified silence. Do you think SHIELD could use her for interrogations?

Absolutely. You’d think I was working with a pack of amateurs over here.

35 notes

pinkamenaiscrazy asked: How does one go about becoming a shield agent? And are you hiring?

Please go away now.

32 notes

johnthecraptist asked: Asdfghjkl the Memo about the Avengers Bohemian Rhapsody Sing-Along must be turned into an animation RIGHT AWAY PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE ANYBODY

Somebody want to tackle this? I’d love to see it!

568 notes

The unauthorized (and frankly disturbing) “Avengers slash-fic” forum discovered on the SHIELD computer system has been deleted.



In an unrelated matter, Mr. Stark’s computer privleges have been revoked until further notice.

The unauthorized (and frankly disturbing) “Avengers slash-fic” forum discovered on the SHIELD computer system has been deleted.

In an unrelated matter, Mr. Stark’s computer privleges have been revoked until further notice.

Filed under nick fury iron man submission

114 notes

[Please stop making bets about Hercules’ love life. He takes that shit as a personal challenge, and while good for morale, it’s been damaging productivity.]

[Please stop making bets about Hercules’ love life. He takes that shit as a personal challenge, and while good for morale, it’s been damaging productivity.]

Filed under submission hercules

149 notes

SHIELD encourages independent thought among its staff and recognises that under extreme circumstances they may need to take actions not permitted at other times.
Nonetheless, we do have a chain of command and organised succession protocols, and so Agent Romanov is hereby instructed to hand over the USB stick she used to log in as me while I was indisposed during that little incident over Christmas.

SHIELD encourages independent thought among its staff and recognises that under extreme circumstances they may need to take actions not permitted at other times.

Nonetheless, we do have a chain of command and organised succession protocols, and so Agent Romanov is hereby instructed to hand over the USB stick she used to log in as me while I was indisposed during that little incident over Christmas.

Filed under submission